Monday, September 2, 2013

After 2 years of intentionally not practicing, I'm going back to yoga this week. Why would anyone not practice? Especially a yoga teacher?? Especially on purpose?? Well here's a thing that happened to me. I got into yoga in the first place as a rehabilitative tool to help me get through a big-time illness that had me bed-ridden for three months when I was 22. I found a fantastic teacher when I was 25 who encouraged me to go to Kripalu. After my YTT at Kripalu I didn't teach but I kept up my practice and I created a beautiful life for myself in the USA. Coming back to Canada, I launched immediately into teaching without a support system in place, without a sense of groundedness or identity in a new place, without a community. What happened is that I burned out. The position of being a container for other people's experience when I was totally adrift became too dischordant for me. I had an experience of teaching a class & doing sivasana with my students where i ended up crying silently while trying to remain composed for them. I got yoga-ed out. Now it is possible that if I had just returned to my own practice, I could have approached my "stuff" from a yogic perspective in a yogic way but one of the reasons I moved back here was to pursue training with a shaman & that is the route that I chose. Fast forward to now & this is the first time I have felt courageous enough to take it back to the mat. So this week, I'm going back to my own practice. I am starting to feel called to teach again, but these small moments of breath & asana are where it has to all begin.

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